Principle #13 – Personality Conflicts Aren’t About Personality.
The Provocation
You know the scene: two talented people avoiding eye contact in meetings, Slack messages that feel like subtweets, and a tension you could cut with a butter knife. You’ve tried pep talks, mediation, maybe even a team lunch. Nothing sticks.
Here’s the plot twist: it’s not about them liking (or disliking) each other—it’s about clarity. When roles are fuzzy and decision rights are murky, frustration builds. People step on each other’s toes, deadlines slip, and suddenly it feels personal. But it’s not personal. It’s structural.
You, leader, are the hero here. The dragon you’re slaying? Organizational ambiguity.
The Hero’s Move
Don’t grab a therapy couch—grab an org map.
- Clarify roles: Who owns what, exactly?
- Define decision rights: Who gets to say “yes” (and who just gives input)?
- Align priorities: Make it clear what matters most and to whom.
When people know what lane they’re in, they stop colliding. And those “personality clashes”? They evaporate faster than free cupcakes in the break room.
Next Step
Before calling HR to mediate “irreconcilable differences,” ask this: Where’s the clarity gap? Fix that, and you’ll turn conflict into collaboration—no couples counseling required.